101+ Exotic Dancer HINTS
the man is, the more he wants both a personal and emotional relationship with the
exotic dancer and the less likely he is to tolerate any bullshit. And, believe me, he will watch how you treat other
Most of these hints work in a range of environments. Only a dancer can decide
what's over the edge for her, but the risky hints end with a WARNING. If you don't feel comfortable doing it, DON'T.
And, for the Computer Age, for those girls that like to play dirty, keep
this in mind:
No matter how careful you are,
There is absolutely no way that you can 100% guarantee your privacy.
Any customer or strip club employee that is determined enough can find out your identity. That geek
you take for a ride today can mess with the rest of your life - without doing anything illegal!
It is not 1993 anymore. There is absolutely no way to guarantee your personal
privacy, and no amount of sweet talk, Hell's Angels boyfriends, or Strip
Club security can keep your identity hidden from someone that is really
driven. And the dancers that don't believe this are the
ones that have the most to fear. (In the interest of dancer safety, I
will not answer any "who" or "how" questions about
The Smart Exotic Dancer's Guide to Protecting Your
- Never, ever give out your telephone number to someone you would not
sit down at a StarBucks and have a cup of coffee with if you met him
outside the club. And get a free email account.
- Never give out your real birth date.
- Cultivate a real friendship of one of the bouncers. Only let him
walk you to your car. In some clubs you have just as much to fear from
the employees as the customers.
- Don't let any customers see you get into your car. And watch for strip club employees that are watching you.
- You want to not be recognized when you drive off. Either grow your hair long enough to cover your face, or,
wear a hat that can cover your face as you drive off. Safest bet is to leave the club with little or no makeup.
- Never work for a strip club where the DJ can get access to your
personal information. As a rule, if the DJ can get it, it's not well
protected. In a strip club, your personal info is only as safe as the weakest
employee that has access to it that can be bribed, cajoled, or conned into giving it
- Learn how to make a telephone call without sending your caller-ID
- Manage your personal situation so that you can quit working at one
strip club and work at another one at a moment's notice. If you can't do that,
it's O.K. to change your dance name so that a problem customer can't
call in to ask if you're working.
Las Vegas Strip Clubs
About Las Vegas Strip Clubs: Las Vegas dancing is a whole new
thing itself. While Las Vegas strippers are highly predatory towards customers, they are
ruthlessly cruel to other strippers (because while they want customers to come back,
they want other strippers to die. Really.). If you want to be an exotic dancer in a Las Vegas strip club you must
have a very thick skin. If you are new, be prepared for other exotic dancers
to work aggressively against you - even if they are friendly to your face.
Las Vegas is no place for weak dancers.
To a lesser extent, this can also apply to strip clubs in Los Angeles,
Dallas, and Atlanta. As an exotic dancer, the other dancers are not
necessarily your friends, and it can be safer to trust a customer rather
than another dancer.
O.K., now that that's out of the way, let's get to the good lap dance stuff:
Lap Dancer Advice
Lap Dancing changes a girl. Her self-esteem is on the line every night.
You can never predict what you'll be or who you'll turn into, next year. Its tough being an exotic
dancer. It's even tougher if you do not have a plan for your life.
- I've seen girls make a lot of money in two years and get out. Once
they're out, they stay out.
- I've seen girls that used to be the queen of the club, wind up broke
& overweight because they believed it would be forever but they
never had a plan.
- If you are going to dance as a career, do not drink heavily.
Exercise, eat right, and plan your life.
- If you don't want to dance for a career, set realistic goals as to how
much you will put away and what you will do after dancing.
Definition: Guys with Money, as used on this page, are experienced strip club regulars that
will keep coming back to see you. I'm not talking about a guy that will just tip you
$300 one time. I'm talking about a guy with extra money that goes to strip clubs regularly and develops regular
girls he goes to see. Unlike most customers, he is not stupid and he has seen all cons. I'm talking about guys that will easily help you make your
rent, car payment, and utility bills. Believe me, they are still out there, and many
girls don't realize where he is sitting in the club right now because these guys are
very smart and very picky, and stupid strippers blow the opportunity right away.
- Use lipstick that won't rub off easily: Less is more. If you get it on a guy's
shirt and he gets in trouble he'll blame you.
- Forget the two-tone lips: It's too hard/exotic for most guys.
- Skip the perfume: It's worse than lipstick. Remember guys can't smell as well as their wives can. They don't
even know they're going to be in trouble! Or only put perfume where it can't
rub off - your shoulders, waist, ears, back.
- Skip the glitter: It sticks to everything.
- No tattoos: The more money a guy has, the less he
- No piercings: The more money a guy has, the less
he likes anything beyond ear lobes and belly buttons.
- Don't smoke: It makes your teeth yellow and your breath
- If you do smoke, ask if it's okay and blow it the other way, then
use mouthwash later.
- If you smoke, say you want to quit: You should want to quit.
- Don't chew gum: It makes you look cheap.
- Watch your breath. Most guys won't tell you that you've got
bad breath, they'll just stop asking for dances. Use Certs: it shows
you're trying. Always brush your teeth or use a mouthwash every few
- Wash and re-apply deodorant: It's easy to smell "off" after
you really get into it.
- Never use F*ck/Sh*t words. If he wants you to say them
privately, your public restraint makes it more fun.
- Look relaxed and confident: Guys with money like the
- If you wear a cross around your neck, make it a small one: It invokes guilt in some guys;
in other guys it makes you seem innocent and makes him like you more. A small cross is a good compromise.
- Don't let guys slobber on your chest & breast. If they do, make
sure to wash after your strip tease dance. To other guys it smells disgusting.
- Make eye contact and SMILE: Have a big real smile for someone new,
because he might turn out to be wonderful.
- Ask if he'd like company before sitting down.
- Always try to sit to his right: Guys are used to having women on their
right side; it's where the girl is when the guy is driving his car.
- Always ask for a drink, never order one and assume he'll pay.
with real money are very sensitive to being taken advantage of.
- Hold his hand: It shows affection and gives you control.
- Tell him your club name and ask his name: Then use his name in
conversation to be personal and reinforce your memory.
- If you tell him your real first name, say it quietly: It shows you're
a real person.
- Don't give your "real name" too quickly. Guys with
money will know it's a fake real name.
- Tell him you're here to make him happy: Say it any way you like.
- Ask if he's in town on business: If he's not, do not ask where
he lives. This is especially important in Las Vegas.
- Do not ask him about work; he's there to get away from work. This is
especially important in Las Vegas.
- Do not ask him if he's married! This is especially important in Las
- Tell him you're shy: Most men are shy, too.
- Be sexy affectionate rather than sexual: Coyly play with his face and
- Ask his preferences: Unless it's Las Vegas, most men like any exotic
dancer who's nice to them,
but some have highly defined preferences, such as slender dancers
with dark hair or whatever. Never ever take it personally. Help
him find what he likes.
- Ask him to tell you whatever he wants about himself: Don't ask for
- If he's clean, kiss him on the cheek if you've never seen him before (unless you're
in Las Vegas).
- Always reward him for saying something nice about you: Give him spontaneous
hugs or gently kiss his cheek
GETTING TO KNOW HIM
- Give him your undivided attention: Guys hate
it when your friends interrupt. Guys with money don't have time for
- Don't let your friends interrupt while he's
talking to you. Guys with money get insulted. Tell your friend "excuse me, but
I'm busy right now".
- Guys without money don't mind when your friends interrupt, because
they get to stretch the time they spend with you without spending cash!
- Talk about friendships: Tell him you learn from guys you meet.
- Tell him about the good deals: Like 2 for 1 dances in ten minutes
- Tell him you like his shirt: Feel it, touch at least one nipple.
- Wear his jacket if it's cold: Now you're inside him.
- Play with his tie: Say something nice about it.
- Don't look at the label of his tie. Guys that frequent strip clubs
know that you're checking out if the tie is expensive or not, and may be
- Lick your lips slowly.
- Rub his back: Just enough to make him want more.
- Encourage him to be open: He can whisper what he likes.
- Talk about anonymity: Prove you understand the rules.
- Emphasize that you're discreet: Tell him similar men trust you.
- Never talk badly about another dancer: it proves you're indiscreet.
- If he says you remind him of a celebrity, smile, thank him and kiss
him on the cheek. Don't ask him if you look like a different celebrity.
STRIP CLUB REGULARS
- The best way to make big money is to cultivate regulars that see you
as a person.
- Take notes about him and consult them: Keep a small locked notepad in a very
safe locked place.
- Always tell him you missed him and he's fun: That says you didn't just
miss his money.
- Have special smiles for regular customers: Impish, a big broad grin,
or any other kind of personalized smile that he likes. Stay away from goofy smiles that are non-sexual.
- Give him a big hug when you first see him. It makes him feel wanted
and lets the other girls know he's yours. This is especially important
for short-term regulars in Las Vegas.
- If he's your regular customer kiss him near the corner of his lips
- Wave to Regulars: They really must be recognized as special ASAP.
- If you tell him you want to be his friend, be
very careful how you say it,
because guys are used to hearing this as a rejection line. Say it sexy,
kiss him near the corner of his lips, or give him a quick grind after
you've said it.
- Never, ever call him "nice". The reason should be obvious.
- Ask your Regulars which of your outfits they like and write this down
in your notebook: This tells you which outfits flatter you the most
& make you more money. Better yet, next time you see him, change
into an outfit he likes and tell him you wore it because it's his
favorite. He'll feel obliged to get a dance.
- Never tell him you'll be dancing on a certain night if you are not
absolutely positive you'll be there: if you don't show up he may think you're not
dependable. Worse yet, another dancer may get to him that night and you
may lose your Regular.
- Even your loyal regulars have days when they prefer someone else. He
will feel guilty. It's important to let him know it isn't a problem. Stop by to see him
occasionally and kiss him on the cheek. Tell him the next time you're
dancing: you're telling him you're not possessive, while also building
loyalty and trust in his mind.
- If you give a fetishist his fantasy you can ignore most of what is on this list
because all he cares about is his fantasy and nothing else.
WHO YOU ARE
- Tell him what you are or what you want to be: Never identify yourself
as just a dancer. Most guys are willing to see you as a person if you
let them see you as a person.
- Talk about what you believe in, your values. Stay away from religion and sports.
- If you make up an outside occupation or a place you've been, be
prepared to discuss it in detail.
- Guys with real money will lose interest if
they catch you in a blatant lie. They won't call you on it, but they
will immediately lose interest. There is no way to recover from this.
- If you don't drink, explain why: You're a responsible person who
drives home after work.
- Don't play "poor me" games: Every guy has heard them. And they don't
work as well as they used to.
- Never tell him how you haven't made any money that night: it may
backfire if he thinks you can't get dances because there's something
wrong with you.
- Tell him you don't do drugs (you shouldn't), but admit weed if you smoke it.
- If you're a single mom, tell him: It's a plus among older guys. It
means you really have to be responsible. (except in Las Vegas).
- Tell him you're dependable and a favorite of the house mother: Guys
invest in dancers they can depend on.
- Make sure you're comfortable with whatever you tell him about
yourself: If a guy thinks you're feeding him a line, he'll stop
seeing you as a person.
- Whenever you're alone in the club, remember to smile: Look like someone who is interesting to get to know.
- If the crowd isn't buying dances, don't be seen working the room from one end to
another asking everyone for dances. Many guys like being asked if they want a
dance, but he won't be flattered if he's the 20th person you've asked.
Ask three or four guys in one part of the room, then sit for a few
minutes & work another part of the room.
- Don't underestimate the value of internet forums to attract Guys
With Money that are shopping (see "Little Things That Kill
- All things being equal, guys prefer girls with long hair.
- If you get lots of
single lap dances but no repeats, you need to learn how to lap dance better.
THINGS THAT KILL YOUR INCOME
Ever hear the story of the little frog trying to jump out of the well? For
every inch she'd jump forward, she'd fall two inches back. That's exactly what these are like.
You get a short term temporary gain, but a long term loss.
- If a customer buys $30 worth of dances and gives you two twenties,
always ask him if he wants change. If you keep his $10, not only will be
probably never get dances from you again, but if he's with friends he
won't recommend you to his buddies. Worse, he might cause a scene that will warn other guys to stay away from you. Trust me on this.
- Unless you have a poor body, don't surprise someone new by sticking
your face in his face and asking if he wants a dance. Most Guys With
Money will give a fast automatic, defensive "No".
- Don't get caught in a bold-faced lie. Some guys don't care, but many will
immediately lose all interest.
- Never do anything that assumes the customer is stupid. It's one of the reasons
strippers don't make as much money as they used to ten years ago. Your short-term gain will become long-term failure
- Never ask about his wife or girlfriend unless he brings it up.
- If he's wearing one, do not stare at his wedding ring
- Never, ever get caught staring at the inside of a guy's wallet when
he's paying you.
- Listen sympathetically and nod: You're his best and only friend for now.
- Ask clarifying questions: It shows you're interested.
- Give regulars your anonymous e-mail: It's a safe way to keep in touch. Always respond to his emails even if just
with quick thanks.
- Sincerely ask him his advice about anything: It makes him feel
appreciated and respected.
- Have secrets together: Sex secrets work best. Tell him "no one
else knows." If he doesn't tell you a secret, that's fine, because
he's happy with yours.
- Tell him you love his nose, eyes, whatever: Use the word love.
- Make him happy:
- Don't ever ask "Is something wrong?" it's nagging. His wife says that;
that's why he's with you now.
- If he's gotten three or more dances in a row, sit with him for awhile
after he says "enough": It shows you've enjoyed your time with
him. He is a potential regular.
- Try not to ask "Why" questions, because it makes most people
defensive; instead ask "what" or "how" questions.
- Tell him the house rules if he's new: Explain which rules are not
strictly enforced. That tells him you're his friend.
- Tell him one rule you want to break with him: Example: "You can
kiss my bellybutton if you want to." That's your secret together.
- Don't get chatty while you're in the middle of a lap dance with him: It makes you appear sexually uninteresting.
- Ask him if he has any requests: You can always tell him if you'd feel
uncomfortable doing it (just don't be judgmental). Maybe he wants you to
leave your dress on. You never know.
- Agree to mutually trust each other (Example: You'll bounce your nipples across his
closed lips if he agrees not to munch). This can be a very powerful form of bonding.
- Rub your thigh up and down on his zipper: Slightly harder on the
upstroke. Nothing else feels better.
- Let your crotch touch his if you want to: Do it late in the song so he wants more.
- Slide down to your knees: Rub against him all the way.
- Eskimo kiss during the slide: Rub noses and smile seductively.
- Slide with a slight repeat: Move back up and down slightly when your
crotch slides over his zipper. No one sees it but he'll love you for it.
- Do a quiet little tremble when you slide: Guys think a dancer can get
off on almost nothing if she likes the guy.
- While on your knees, find his nipples: He'll tell you if he likes it.
- When you're sideways, brush one of your nipples over his:
- Rub the side of your head on his "head": Slide your nose
on it, kiss it, whatever works for both of you. Start with the top of
- Use your eyes: Maintain eye contact as much as possible.
- Smile at him seductively.
- Use your face: Move it close to his. Hug his head gently.
- Nuzzle his neck. Kiss it gently if the rules permit.
- Use the back of your legs to squeeze his "zipper": It's easy
but very few dancers do it.
- Ask him if he wants to feel your butt: This is easy to sneak in after
the dance. WARNING: Grabbing butt is the line of demarcation in some
- Ask what he liked most: Learn to improvise for a customer within your
- If he buys several dances, offer him a free one: It says you need to
feel the relationship is not all about money. This can make
dancers much more money in the long run.
- Tell him you like non-alcoholic champagne: He can still order the
expensive stuff and try to get you drunk. At least you gave him an
- If you give backrubs, learn to give them CORRECTLY! Few things make a guy more
annoyed, upset, and unhorny than a girl acting like she knows how to give backrubs
while giving a really lousy one. If the club offers them, do it well. If guys like you
but you don't turn them on, they might still ask you for backrubs.
- Know the VIP card rules: If it doesn't benefit him,
quietly tell him. He'll
- Be open and non-judgmental about sex.
- Tell him he's handsome. Tell the truth about what you like about him.
- If he doesn't have a girlfriend, never ask him why. Any guy that's
been to a strip club more then three times has heard "You're so
handsome, why don't you have a girlfriend?" It puts him on the defensive and
makes him lose interest.
- Tell him you won't do unsafe sex: That makes you a premium dancer.
Lots of dancers get drunk and have no idea what they just did.
- Talk about your breasts: Be shy, reveal half a nipple
while sitting with him. Guys love good
- If he asks about your enhanced breasts, downplay it: Tell him they
feel comfortable and make you feel good about yourself.
- Ask what size breasts he likes: With any kind of contact he likes
yours best. One on one, most guys prefer 34B.
- Ask him what he likes about you: This is valuable feedback for
- Tell him (and yourself) it's okay if he isn't hard all the time: Maybe
he can't be "friends" with you and get excited at the same time. Help him overcome his taboo feelings.
- Whisper whatever you want: Let him whisper in your ear, too.
from a Sales Professional
The following hints are from an experienced, expensive sales
consultant. If they read as if they were meant for dancers, it's simply
because dancers are Sales Professionals as well. So, below is $1500 worth of
- In Sales, as in Life, how you feel about yourself, is more important
than how others feel about you.
- Smile when you are alone - it releases chemicals in your brain that keeps your spirits up.
- Have a "Happy Thought" ready for moments when you really
need a lift - it could be a child, an especially good day you once had,
someone from your past, a movie you really liked, or even a favorite
fantasy - something that is all good for you. Happy Thoughts
aren't always obvious, so it's O.K. if it takes you a few days to come
up with one.
- Always speak with positive words (ex: don't say "hate", say "don't like") - it
makes you much more attractive, and keeps you in much better spirits.
- When you smile, pretend your eyes are smiling too.
- When in doubt, relax, because physical and mental tension are directly
- Never ask a client "why" questions - it puts them on the
defensive. Ask "what" and "how" questions.
- You can never tell how much power, authority, or money someone has by the way
- You can always tell how much power, money, or authority someone has by the way
they walk, sit down, and carry themselves.
- Remember, a client is incapable of rejecting you - they can only
reject your product. (Dancers, you are not your product - always
- There is no such thing as failure, only feedback.
- In my 18 years of sales experience I've interviewed literally hundreds
of sales professionals, and one hard and fast rule I've discovered is
this: every predatory sales person develops
self-esteem problems, intense anxiety attacks, and issues with guilt,
forgiveness, and insecurity.
I have never seen even one exception to this. If you are predatory, you will
eventually have emotional problems or run into someone with a "Don Quixote" Complex.
- Remember, sooner or later, every con artist runs into someone with a
"Don Quixote" Complex that dedicates his life to destroying
the con artists'. No con artist ever believes this - until it's way too late.
- There's no such thing as a happy old con artist.
- These sales pointers are sound advice for when you're not selling.
- Tell him he made your day: Make him feel like your favorite.
- Ask when he might be back: Tell him what times you usually work and
whether that varies next week.
- If he's a special customer, say "I always look forward to seeing
you": That makes him feel special
- Walk him to the door. He's already late and the escort makes him feel
special - plus, no other dancer can get to him!
Strip Club Hints for Guys
- She's not your friend, she's a stripper.