Hooters Girl Tipping Guide!

Hooters Girl Tipping Guide!

    

Hooters Girl Tipping Guide

"Respect is earned, not bestowed" - Marcus Aurelius

Tipping at Hooters is definitely a value-based decision that depends on a number of factors. Face it, you can get chicken and a hamburger anywhere. You go to Hooters for the atmosphere, the entertainment, and, oh, "the view". These girls are here because they look great and you went there because they look great. Many Hooters girls are smart when it comes to tips, for them it is a combination of intuition and learned experience.

When you first walk in, the girls will size you up. Older man dressed well, probably a big tipper. Young kid with an attitude, lousy tipper. If you ask her for change of a hundred dollar bill you're not fooling anyone and she knows you will probably be a shitty tipper. But if you are going to be a regular she is going to look very closely at the cause/effect of your tipping patterns. In the beginning your Hooters girl will most probably give you consistently good service and you will probably tip her well ("well"=30% or better). But if one day she gives you lousy service without an apology and you still tip her well, she might think she can take you for granted and ignore you and still get a good tip out of you. Again, it's cause/effect - she will look to see how she treated you, and then see how you tipped her and learn from that.

Base 20% tip starts with service. Service at Hooters is like the restaurant's electricity, if it isn't there nothing else matters. It doesn't matter how big her fake titties are or if it's the last four minutes of the Superbowl, always expect good service and accept no bullshit for bad service. If she gives you lousy service and a lousy attitude, leave a lousy tip. If she put a smile on your face and was the best part of your day, tip her at least 40%, fill out the survey and tell the world what a wonderful person she is. Believe me, these surveys are read by Hooters corporate and they most definitely do get back to both the restaurant and the girls.

This doesn't mean you can think stupidly. These are girls that fuss for hours over their appearance because they know they are judged by how they look. You need to do the same. Shave, shower, dress nice, comb your hair, wear a pressed shirt and nice shoes. Dress your age, not like an adult teenager. Respect yourself. don't act like a dick. And for God's sake act your age too. If you are 42 don't act like you are 22. Remember, the more the age difference between the two of you, the more the age difference defines the relationship. If you can share your life's experiences with her without coming across as bragging or trying to impress her she will respect you for it. In the end, like anything in life, it's sincere appreciation that counts.

Other considerations:

  • +15% if she smiles most of the time
  • -5% if she smiles only a little.
  • +25% if she smiles each and every time she comes to see you
  • -25% if she hardly ever smiles at all
  • +20% if she touches you once (take it as sincere appreciation)
  • -10% if you are at the bar, for each time she fulfills someone else's drink order that came after you gave her yours.
  • -10% if your drink order at the bar takes longer than five minutes, -20% if it is a soft drink
  • +50% if she tells you she looks forward to each time you come in and sit in her section
  • +5% for each double-entendre
  • +35% if she gives you her email address
  •     -60% if the email address bounces or she never emails you back
  • +80% if she gives you her cell phone number
  •     -100% if she never calls or emails you back
  • +20% if her titties are real (it's easy to tell if you know how)
  • -20% if you catch her in a bold-faced lie
  • +20% if she gives you a hug
  • +30% if she gives you a nice warm hug
  • +20% if she knows you filled out a survey on her and she thanked you for it
  • If she's been lousy to you the entire time but starts to be real friendly when she hands you the bill, if you tip her more than 15% you are an idiot.
  • If she always says hello to you at each visit even when you are not sitting at her station, she's cool and a keeper. Sit with her from now on and tip her at least 30% each time.

If she is your regular girl, and she's having a bad day and service is lacking, have a heart and be good to her. Don't be a dick. These rules don't apply if she's your regular girl and she treats you with respect. Be good to her, tip her well. Always tip your regular girl well. Don't be a dick.

If the total is 100% or higher, give her great marks on the survey.

If the total is -50% or lower, don't sit in her section again.

I know I sound like an asshole so far, but this is my final rule: Never Tip based On How Attractive She Is, Tip Based On Personality. There, better?

One last thing. You aren't fooling anyone by shaking your leg up and down.

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